Is Being Too Selective Keeping You Single? Are High Standards Blocking Your Love Life?
In the wild world of dating nowadays, many are getting tangled up in the “Am I asking for the moon and stars?” dilemma. We’re wondering if wanting a partner with a steady job is too high-maintenance or if wishing for one who knows the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ is like hunting for a grammar wizard.
But let’s zone in on a particular tribe of women who are worried their preferences might land them the ‘gold digger’ tag. It’s a risky business! Dates usually don’t start with a “Hey, nice to meet you, what’s your salary?” But it’s not unusual for many women to whip out the mental calculator and do some quick ‘girl math’ to figure out if their earnings hit the jackpot for date number two.
For ladies riding the ‘go with the flow’ wave, there comes a time when the money topic, once brushed under the carpet to avoid the “superficial and materialistic” label, becomes the big elephant in the room. Especially when the dream is to have kiddos and rock the stay-at-home mom life.
I don’t mind working, but I don’t want to carry the financial burden.
“Working? Sure, but I’m not planning to be the financial superhero,” asserts Becca, a client who’s got her 30s figured out, at least money-wise. Becca isn’t scouting for just any partner; she’s after someone who’s got his life plans sorted out. “Is he down for family and settling or just in for the laughs? And since when did caring about his financial health make me a gold-digger?”
Becca was at her wit’s end with the men she kept meeting. She proclaimed: I want a masculine, spiritual, emotionally regulated man who takes good care of his physical body. Where are all the washboard abs men?
She also wants a man who is organized and clean. She wails, “I’M TURNED OFF when I go to a man’s house, and it is messy, or his bath towels smell like mold. Also, I’m not attracted to overweight men, especially those who take no interest in any physical activities. But this is all I see out there. So I keep thinking that there is something wrong with me — that I’m just too picky”. For the record, there is nothing wrong with Becca for wanting a man with positive qualities.
It’s not all about the dollars; it’s just a tad.
Let’s get real about financial stability in relationships. It’s not about bagging someone from the Forbes list or someone who eats at places you can’t spell. It’s about mutual respect and both partners showing up — emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
Choosing a life partner isn’t just finding someone with whom you have a good time. It’s a big freaking deal! It’s about syncing, growing, and mutually agreeing on a Netflix series without needing a therapist to mediate the situation. It’s about discernment.
The journey to love often has the soundtrack of “Am I too picky?” playing in the background, often remixed by society’s judgments. It’s key to differentiate between being discerning and having a checklist that includes
“Must drive a Lamborghini and love Avocado toast.”
Being discerning is about shared values and goals; it’s not about chasing a mythical creature who can whip up a Michelin star meal and fly you on his private Jet to Miami for the weekend. But, if you find yourself with a partner who has substantial financial means and supports your choice to prioritize home and family, that’s perfectly acceptable.
Conversely, aligning with someone who earns a modest income, insufficient to fully support the household singlehandedly, is also valid.
In both scenarios, the key is that the individual is a responsible and caring adult, capable of managing his affairs effectively. However, a partner who is unable to sustain himself financially may exhibit deficiencies in other areas of life and responsibility. The quest, then, is to connect with someone willing to embrace continual learning and maturity in all facets of life, finances included.
You are not being too picky — you just need to Manifest
Owning your desires is revolutionary! Pen it down, scream it out, or dance it out on TikTok. Whether seeking spiritual affirmations or reading the stars, embracing and manifesting your desires without guilt is the ticket to attracting Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Navigating relationships involves a delicate balance of discernment, filled with moments of introspection, realization, and alignment. It’s about finding a partner who complements your values, preferences, and aspirations.
Let’s talk about Jenn, who is oh-so-relatable. Jenn dreamed of being a domestic goddess, ruling her realm with a spatula in one hand and a baby in another. But her journey to find Mr. Right, who could bring home the bacon while she cooked it, was filled with guys who were more into “splitting the bill” than “splitting the roles.” Jenn’s amusing journey of dates, debates, and financial discourses is a reminder of the importance of aligning life goals and economic perspectives before wasting that outfit with another situationship.
Navigating the intricacies of relationships and potential partners, where discernment is your dance partner, leading you with grace, a bit of laughter, and the occasional stumble. It’s not about finding Mr. or Mrs. Perfect with a gleaming resume and a penchant for poetic texts but about finding someone who complements your quirks, values, and sexual appeal.
